Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

thumb_up thumb_down -11

q ggggggggggggggggg

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops