Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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I am a mime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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