What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops