Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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