knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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poop

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops