Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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