what has genitial warts? me

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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The game.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops