How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Do you play piano? No

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

well now

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

thumb_up thumb_down +35

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops