- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

Justin Bieber.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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