What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

copy me and i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The sentence below is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops