Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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what did the purple horse say to the goat? horses don't talk....

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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hashtags suck balls

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hi dave

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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