My love life

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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How's the weather? Good.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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Laugh

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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