What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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