why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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