I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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