An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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