did you stub your toe?

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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