Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

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A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops