What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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wanna here a good joke? me too.

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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