What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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hi

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I can't see ~ Ray Charles

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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