A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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69

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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