What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Logan's gay

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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