Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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