How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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A Jew, a black guy, and a redneck are walking down the street because their car broke down a few miles back.

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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