2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Your're racist.

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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