My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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KOOKABURRA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops