What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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What is black and looks like a person A black person

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops