Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops