What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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you first

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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