Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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