"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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If youre African, why are you white?

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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