So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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pauls tuck

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I Have a Black Friend

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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