Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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I like Pi. It can make circles.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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