What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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Women's rights

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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