What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops