What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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John Cena for president

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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