A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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