What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Water? I hardly know her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

epic win?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I <3 Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops