Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops