How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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retard

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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an dislexik nam rwote hits

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Bark I'm a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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