- Anti Joke

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana