Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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