What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was Born ready I was born naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops