Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Buzi vagy!

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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c======3

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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How did th-A fridge.

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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