D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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whats my name? Matt

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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