What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Oh my God! A talking dog!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What color is red paint? Red

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

woman..parallel parking

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops