How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Your adopted.....

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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