When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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