Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Penis.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Bean.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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