IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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their is a box of mystery. wat is in that box?? do u no wat is in that box!?!?!?!?!?!?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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The Game.

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops