what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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