What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Santa isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops